Grief and Healing: Turning the Page?

Grief and Healing:

Turning the page?

Learning to love yourself again while navigating through grief

by Justsimplyciani

Last year, I really lost sight of who I was. Grief has changed me completely. The emotions of grief have suddenly come at once. The rush of  sadness,  a whole lot of anger and the coming of my acceptance of my new reality was becoming too much.  Who was she? and How did she get here? I was clouded by a dark cloud that would not go away.

To be fair,  I did not like this person I was becoming. I was so angry. I barely could recognize who this person was in the mirror? Who was she? I honestly didn’t know. Grief was showing up in every part of my life. Have I changed? Yes. I realized I was no longer the same person that I was four months or even a year ago. I’ve changed so much this past year. I am taking a pause and learning to love myself all over again. Though I am still grieving. I want to know what it means to love this new version of  myself? I want to know what it means to be kind to myself? I want to learn how to be in my own company and not expect others to fulfill my own happiness! But me. 

 I've learned over time you cannot fill a glass that’s half full and then expect to show up for others. There’s no way that I could! I have to learn to take care of me and my happiness. Though, I know the pain will never go away from losing someone you love. It’s still painful! God, I miss my grandma and uncle so much that it hurts somedays than others. But I want to at least try to find joy in the smallest moments in life. No matter how unpredictable life may be I'm willing to try.  

She deserves that ( the woman that I am becoming) and so do I. 

So I am turning the page to my story. Shedding the woman that I was before and making space for the woman that I am becoming. Planting my garden, watering, and nourishing the soil. So that I am able to grow, heal, and love that woman that stands before me. I’m still standing by the grace of God. So I am giving the love that’s needed! Loving myself unconditionally. 

So here's to turning the page!

I affirm, I am proud of myself for maintaining a positive attitude during tough times!